My Jitsugen
Realization in this past week . Introduction: Life is a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs, joys, and challenges. Over the past week, I have experienced a series of episodes that forced me to confront my deepest traumas, leaving me overwhelmed by emotions and self-destructive thoughts. I have struggled with PTSD, haunted by past traumas involving my parents, and even found myself hallucinating about people who hurt me. It has been a constant battle, and I have run away numerous times to escape the pain. This essay will explore my journey of realization and the transformative impact of a special person who helped me see a path towards healing. The Weight of Trauma: Trauma is a heavy burden that I have carried for far too long. Memories of a troubled past with my parents constantly resurface, pulling me into a dark abyss of anguish. I have tried to forget, to move on, but the pain persists. My struggles with PTSD have compounded my emotional distress, leading me to experience hallucinations of past tormentors. Coping has become a daily challenge, and at times, I have battled suicidal thoughts. Expectations and Heartbreak: In the midst of my emotional turmoil, I have struggled with expectations and fears of abandonment. Past experiences have left me feeling like a burden to those closest to me, believing that I am destined to be left behind and unloved. I have built walls around myself, pretending to be strong while hiding my true feelings. However, these emotional barriers have only confused and alienated the people around me. A True Companion: Amidst the chaos, there was one person who stood by my side - my best friend. I confided in them about my recent struggles and mistakes, seeking solace and understanding. Their unwavering support and patience made me realize that they were the only true person in my life who cared about my well-being. They helped me understand the pain I had inflicted upon myself and the person I loved. With their help, I saw the need to apologize and make amends. Embracing Change and Seeking Forgiveness: Through this realization, I understood that the change I sought had to begin from within. I acknowledged my mistakes and recognized the hurt I caused the person I love. I apologized sincerely, understanding that mere words were not enough to heal the wounds. My journey towards healing would involve seeking professional help to address my anxiety and trauma from the past. I resolved to become a better person for myself and those who care about me. A Future of Hope: While I might not always show it, I genuinely desire to change and embrace the person I once was – someone filled with hope and love for the world. I want to break free from the clutches of past traumas and anxiety, allowing Zoe, the person who sees the universe with optimism, to return. Conclusion: Life's journey is indeed a roller coaster ride, filled with unexpected twists and turns. My recent experiences have forced me to confront my deepest traumas, wrestle with my emotions, and face my fears. Through the support of a true companion, I have come to realize the need for change and healing. I understand that my journey towards a better life begins with seeking forgiveness and making amends for the pain I have caused. As I embark on this path of healing, I hope to rediscover the person I once was – one who finds hope, love, and strength in the face of adversity.
